SCAM ALERT

RE: Phuti Funeral Ministry; FSP 4199

I was raised by my great-grandmother…she was illiterate, she didn’t know how to read and write, But she knew that she had to have a funeral cover.

I remember in 2009, Mr Phuti of Phuthi funerals had to come to my home with his then Burgersfort branch manager Sylvia…may both their souls rest in peace…the world is no place for kind hearted people.

1. The issue was that when my grandmother went to purchase a funeral cover, non of the Phuti staff back then was caring enough to show the old lady the services that they rendered.
2. When my grandfather died after about 9 or 10 years of my grandmother paying R50 for her funeral cover, I was told that she infact signed up for a savings plan… what…right? unbelievable, how do you save R5000 with a funeral house when you are banking with standard bank and already have an EPlan savings account with them??

Exactly…I remember very well, that is how I met Mr Phuti and Sylvia…he drove to my rural home in a white Chrysler 300c.

Round 2. This year when the same funeral house had to burry my grandmother…count with me…2008 to 2022…14 years later, we were told of a miscalculated premium and some story with her being behind payment… luckily for us, we have all grown now and had decided to keep separate books…which are paid by 1 person all at the same time…mistake? ok….

Round 3. 6 months later an elder passes on…as at 3 September…and we were refused burial, because we fall out of cover for the upgraded policy …by 5 day…wow!

The word illiterate has been misused over a long period of time.

The yester’year generation was nothing or any sort of illiterate. 

Our grandfolks have been misguided for years and been robbed in daylight by funeral houses. considering that it actually takes about R20 000 to have a decent burial in Gauteng.

Our grandfolks pay these “Batho pele” funeral schemes for decades,  when the time comes for them to rest, only then the  grieving children are told of the policies and errors and challenges with the claiming challenges.

I mean, who runs these scams? Why is it such a big challenge to burry an elder when they passe on? Are we then supposed to resuscitate our dead for a later burial which is acceptable by the funeral house?

Why are we leaving our grandfolks and parents to be consumed by these policies, because I have been battling for many years with a this funeral house, giving my folks inaccurate information and each time it was time for reparation, they want money, there’s or there is a problem with the policy, or the cover has changed.

#Phutifuneralministry
#Bathopelefuneral
#FunereralPolicy
#FuneralCover
#Longterminsurance
#funeralpolicyombudsman

Draw inspiration from your Failures.

 

Embrace Negativity and Failure.

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I want to share this right now before it eludes my mind.

I’ve been home for a week now, following an emergency surgery, just the other day I had another one, and then earlier than that another one.

It would be a lie to say that I thought I was healthy, strong and a stallion…

You see from an early age I was a sickly child, couldn’t play with this or that, couldn’t eat this and that…heck, I would eat whatever, whenever I can, when my mom wasn’t watching – imagine going to your friend’s house and there is a party, all the kids eating whatever they could…but guess who suffered? Guess who spent her whole life looking after a kid who always put her health in danger… May the good lord continue to bless my dearly beloved mother and grandmother and their grand children.

So I grew vegan when I learnt that there are foods that just take away my joy and ability to sleep. My nature doesn’t allow me to conform. I would still eat something when I’m with people; that’s a direct preparation for an epic fail, sleepless night or even more nights. Over the years, I refused surgeries because my mother is a devotee and wanted me to pray and be prayed for, even asked my dad for intervention at some point, but hey…No offence to the members of ZCC and their tea…no thanks, tea is not my thing thing… I’m edging more into the alcoholic beverages and coffee.

As I grew older and independent I started having whatever I thought I could, but err…No! My stomach acted-out and just last year my metabolism couldn’t handle anything to a point where I even threw-up anything I ate. Gosh how dumb!! Why don’t I just stay away from foods that work me up??? – those are death people’s goals BTW.

I am a conquerer. I put in more effort everyday to waking up. I go on and even when I am burning out, I will still soldier on. I’m on my own. Yes. With nobody I could bother to bother. I do all of that with a smile. There’s no one here that will say that it’s because of them that I’m helped…or saved. Nah fam. My life. My rules. My mentality. My mindset. My motivation. The faakkk…

However, I see so many people with a false sense of positivity… “I serve a living god” – this is damaging. I just can’t help it but to bring to your attention some of life’s greatest teachers. Accountability and Resilience and it’s not even my problem to make you understand. You have to tune yourself, tune your mind into absorbing that which is new, that is different, be able to self-start and reset.

You cannot refuse or pray out of a situation which requires your mental and physical presence and endurance… you cannot pray yourself out of actions you took, pending decisions you made that led to your experience of your current situation. This is yours, your time. Own it.

– It is unfair of you to expect from another person a degree of involvement in your salvation or better yet, what God is doing in your life in that very moment. I remember that it was in one of King James’ books, (NKJV, Woman Thou Art Loosed) – Follow link:

Woman, Thou Art Loosed! Devotional

Where he said: “God wants to talk to you when you’re at rock bottom, that’s where he wants you to seek him, because that’s where you will hear him” – Ey, but that’s not a universal religious message…it’s faith…whomever you pray to; seek in the midst of your demise.

When you “avoid” negative emotions or situations, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to develop an immune system towards such challenges in your life, you’re denying yourself the mental training and preparation of moving forward with yourself, your plans and life.

This is how we end up within a society of gullible adults, trapped in 3yr olds’ mindsets. Adult that sulk; ignore issues; lack self-confidence; lacks the ability to express themselves & deal with emotions & everyday decison making. Adults that lack interpersonal skills.

This is how you build resistance to maturing.

When you avoid going through negative emotions and failures, you’re blatantly refusing to be a human being. You’re refusing to live at the edge of your potential because of the fear of what you refuse to understand. Fear of what you refuse to see, feel and experience.

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“Nothing in this world that you go through is designed to kill you. Every step of the process is designed to equip you with enough knowledge, strength in order for you to be able to move forward.”

Stop stressing about how your life should be. Look after yourself, eat healthy, your body is the only vehicle you’re going to spend the rest of your life in.

Don’t conform to society’s human standards of how you should think or go through life… develop a habit of seeing yourself as what you could be and that way you’ll learn from your failures and Negativity, because you’ll be able to recognise areas of improvements and have a purpose driven life.

Now go on and forgive yourself for all those times you didn’t believe in yourself…give this world all of you…!

Reactance Theory

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“The misconception in general is that when we do not know of something … it therefore seizes existence. This is how people end up using people and getting used as well.”

“We are born with freedom. Nobody is responsible for anything we do or say…But ourselves. We are born with the capacity to change our own circumstances.”

Please enjoy this read and keep it in mind …

Definition

Reactance theory, proposed by Brehm (1968), outlines the consequences that occur when individuals perceive their freedoms are threatened or lost (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). Within reactance theory, individuals believe they possess a set of “free behaviors” that they can choose to act upon at any time (Dillard & Pfau, 2002). This theory is based on the notion that people desire freedom of choice and if this freedom is removed by external constraints then there will be a negative aversive response (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002). Integral to this theory is the notion that a threat to free behaviors excites a motivational state, which is aimed at recapturing the affected freedoms and preventing the future loss of others (Fogarty, 1997). Therefore, the manifestation of reactance is behavior directed toward restoring freedom (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). Freedom can possibly be reestablished by behaving in a way opposite to what is desired by the manipulative source (Kirchler 1999). The concept of reactance is often connected to the idea of “reverse psychology,” which is based on the notion that telling someone not to do something would in turn make it more appealing (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002).

Magnitude of Reactance

The intensity of reactance has been found to be a direct function of the magnitude of the threat upon the freedom (Fogarty, 1997). Therefore, the higher the degree of the magnitude of reactance, the more effort an individual will attempt to restore the freedom (Dillard & Pfau, 2002). Also, the reactance response is determined by the degree in which persuasion and coercion is used to intrude on freedom (Edwards et al. 2002). There are four main principles that assist in stipulating what may be the main determinates of the magnitude of reactance (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). According to the first principle, reactance can be aroused only if the individual believes they have a freedom over a potential outcome (Brehm& Brehm, 1981). The importance of the freedom that may be eliminated is crucial in determining the level of reactance that may result. The second principle states that if an individual is told they cannot chose one of the two attractive choices presented, then the level of reactance aroused is dependent of the importance of the alternatives (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). Brehm (1981) states that amount of reactance resulting from a threat is a direct function of the number of freedoms threatened. Therefore, the magnitude of reactance increases as the proportion of threatened behaviors increases (Dillard & Pfau, 2002). The fourth principle discussed in relation to reactance claims that implied threats increase the magnitude of reactance because freedoms can be threatened by implication (Brehm & Brehm, 1981).

Consequences Due to Magnitude of Reactance

If a particular freedom is lost there are three main possible consequences due to the magnitude of reactance. The individual may experience increased desire for the lost freedom and view it as more attractive than it was before (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002). Also, the individual might respond by attempting to reassert freedom by performing the behavior that was taken away and forbidden (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002). The third likely consequence due to reactance is the individual aggressively lashing out toward the person responsible for removing the desired option (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002)

Methodology

Early in Brehm’s (1971) investigation of reactance theory, he conducted a study to demonstrate how freedom affects reactance. Over the length of six sessions, female undergraduate students were asked to taste and rate three unfamiliar Argentinean desserts (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). In each session, half of the participants were allowed the freedom to choose which dessert they wanted to taste, while the other half were low freedom by being assigned a dessert. Brehm and Rozen (1971) designed the experiment to “create the psychological conditions that exist when a person has his or her behavioral freedoms expanded” (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). This was accomplished by allowing high freedom subjects to choose their favorite dessert, while assigning the rated favorite dessert to the low freedom subjects. In the last session, participants were asked to rate the Argentinean desserts against a new well-liked familiar dessert (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). The introduction of this new dessert threatened the freedom that had previously been established. In the previous sessions, the high freedom participants had continually exercised their free choice to taste any of the three Argentinean desserts (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). According to Brehm and Rozen (1971), since the new alternative was attractive they would want to taste it, which would threaten their freedom to taste the old options. Most importantly, the freedom to taste the Argentinean dessert that was deemed to be most attractive was threatened (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). However, since the low freedom participants were not given any freedoms previously they couldn’t feel threatened. Brehm and Rozen (1971) proposed that maximized reactance arousal would occur for high freedom subjects when rating the fourth dessert and would be seen by an increased attractiveness for the new item.

Results Based on this study, reactance resulted from an increase in attractiveness, which led the participant to feel that a prior freedom had been threatened. The results were consistent with Brehm and Rozen’s prediction. Low freedom participants showed negative changes in attractiveness ratings after the alternative was introduced (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). Brehm and Rozen (1971) discovered that a positive change in attractiveness ratings resulted for the alternative previously regarded as the most attractive. The change in rating results for the most attractive dessert after the new alternative had been introduced was -1.96 for low freedom and +.33 for high freedom participants (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). These results demonstrated that high freedom participants showed regret for not being able to have the freedom to taste their most attractive old dessert. The results of this study confirmed that high freedom participants would experience reactance.

Current Studies Reactance theory continues to be studied today in a variety of different settings. Fogarty (1997) proposed that many medical patients avoid compliance as means to retain control over their illness or as a way to reassert a valued freedom. In a medical setting, it is believed that if a patient perceives a threat to their freedom then noncompliance may occur (Fogarty, 1997). Also, in a medical setting a larger number of highly valued freedoms may be affected, which would lead to reactance because the person may have reached a threshold point for threat perception (Fogarty, 1997). Reduction to reactance can be achieved by working toward increasing patient control and limiting the threats to freedom (Fogarty, 1997). Another recent study on reactance theory showed that sexual coercion could be due to reactance. Baumeister et al. (2002) suggests that when a man is deprived of specific sexual options he will desire them more and try to reclaim them by using aggression. The rejection of the desired sex is perceived as a loss of freedom, which could lead the three consequences of reactance to occur (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002). According to this theory, the drive to reclaim sex is accountable by reactance and the male’s narcissism will increase the chances that steps are taken toward coercion (Baumeister, Catanese, & Wallace, 2002). Reactance theory has also been connected to economic issues. Kirchler (1999) believes that attitudes towards taxes can be a result of reactance. Entrepreneurs may perceive taxes as threat to their freedom of deciding how they want to handle their finances (Kirchler 1999). Also, taxation leads to a loss of money that a person previously possessed, which could lead to intense negative feelings and reactance (Kirchler 1999). In order to reestablish the lost freedom, the individual may develop negative attitudes towards the government and taxes (Kirchler 1999).

References

Baumeister, Roy F., Kathleen R. Catanese, and Harry M. Wallace. “Conquest by Force: A Narcissistic Reactance Theory of Rape and Sexual Coercion.” Review of General Psychology 6 (2002): 92-135.

Brehm, Sharon, and Jack W. Brehm. Psychological Reactance : A Theory of Freedom and Control. New York, NY: Academic P, 1981.

Dillard, James P., and Michael Pfau, eds. The Persuasion Handbook : Developments in Theory and Practice. Minneapolis, MN: SAGE Publications, Incorporated, 2002.

Edwards, Steven, Hairong Li, and Joo-Hyun Lee. “Forced Exposure and Psychological Reactance: Antecedents and Concequences of the Perceived Intrusiveness of Pop-Up Ads.” Journal of Advertising 31 (2002): 83-95.

Fogarty, Jeanne S. “Reactance Theory and Patient Noncompliance.” Social Science Medical 45 (1997): 1277-288.

Kirchler, Erich. “Reactance to taxation: Employers’ attitudes towards taxes.” Journal of Socio-Economics 28 (1999): 131-38.

All  Credit to Psychiwiki.com

The Value of Mental Health Awareness

“When we recognize that the underlying issue is not simply poor character, weak-will, or immorality, we come to see mental health the same way we see physical health: a problem that is not necessarily the fault of the individual and can be managed by a trained professional. Like a patient undergoing cancer treatment, a person suffering from a mental illness is now commonly accepted as a patient requiring psychological treatment.” – Steve Rose.

Steve Rose PhD

In recent years, the concept of mental health has gained traction, helping to reduce the stigma. As Canada observes Mental Health Awareness Week, I want to contribute to the conversation by considering why awareness is so important. After all, what does awareness get us? Does simply having everyone aware of something solve real problems? I want to address the “so what” question, when it comes to mental health awareness.

So what is awareness good for? Think of the days before we were aware of things like anxiety, depression, OCD, BPD, Schizophrenia, addiction, and PTSD. It’s not that these problems didn’t exist; we just didn’t have insight into why people were engaging in apparently self-destructive or anti-social behaviors, nor did we have the language to talk about it. Rather than viewing them as suffering from an illness, we attributed their behavior to either moral failings or insanity.

During the…

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If I get tired along the way …

In the years of trial, when life was inconceivable and life itself is only an instant…

Only the dissolving of ourselves in all others, as though in gift to them.”
…Have you ever been looked at with such soulful longing that you are transformed, you become the object and the subject of love…- Capital L?

The saddest thing to experience and meet in life is inadequacy, when you give your all and it’s not enough, when you make an effort and it’s not recognized. When you make a plea and it’s not heard …When you give your time and it’s not appreciated?

We have learned to swim the oceans as fish, we have learned to fly the skies as birds… we have traveled the world as voyagers and we are yet to walk this earth with one another as brother and sister and fellow human beings.

Never ever reduce, dull or numb yourself to the level of anyone’s expectations. To seek another’s approval is to die of their rejection.

In life, there will always be someone better, worse or even best. One thing for certain, they will never be you – Remember who you are. Don’t lose yourself trying to find someone, don’t set yourself alight to keep others warm.

Ignore

Perhaps look at me, like I am magic …

If you Ever find that 1 Person.

If you Ever find that 1 Person.